Stuck in a rut

This is how I feel today, stuck in one great big rut. 

 

The same things that annoy me about myself are still annoying me.  I procrastinate, I still hate housework, I still feel like I have no space.  Of course I know all the things I should be doing, changing the way I think about things, being grateful for what I have, put on lively music, la, la, la.

In my fantasy world, the younger members of the family would offer to do the housework once in a while.  Not have to be reminded to clean the bathroom like they agreed to, clean out the litter box when it's their turn without being reminded, unload the dishwasher in the morning when it's their turn, not in the late afternoon.  Wash the dishes from the night before when it was their turn so I can cook dinner in a clean kitchen.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

I have other fantasies too.  The younger members of the family know that my internal combustion system is in overdrive and I get very tired.  I'd love for one of them to say, "Can I get you a cup of tea?", "Can I put the bread on for you?", "Can I peel you a grape?".  I'm not asking for much really.  I would like them to see me as a person who tries very hard not to get cranky when I'm feeling irritable and moody, stifling hot one minute and freezing cold the next.  A person who needs time to be creative at least once a day and the space to do it in.  Not just physical space but mental space too.  Wouldn't be nice for someone to say, "How are feeling today?"

O.K.  rant over.  Hopefully cheerful and normal service will resume  after I've decided what to have for dinner?

Anne  xx

The Black Hole

Hello! This is my first post ever so thanks for taking the time to look in. Yet another day has gone by when I’ve avoided looking into the black hole. Does anyone else have a black hole in their home like I do? It scares me silly to even think about it. I contemplate different ways I might go about approaching it, but it never seems to get any easier. As each day goes by, the black hole gets blacker, nastier and I chastise myself about my avoidance tactics. I'd much rather be in my garden, dreaming about my garden and planning projects for my garden.

Oh yes, back to the black hole. Can it really be so bad to face one black hole? YES IT CAN, because this dark cavern of horror is my oven. I imagine those of you like me who have a tendency to avoid oven cleaning duties are grimacing in horror at the thought of oven cleaning time and those who don’t have a procrastinating bone in their body are saying to me, just get in and clean it girl!! Oh I will eventually, all in good time. But first I need to have a plan of attack.

Unfortunately for a girl who likes natural cleaners, I’ve yet to come up with one that doesn’t require mainly elbow grease. (Any great recipes out there for natural oven cleaners, I’d be grateful?!) I've tried all those nasty spray cans of oven cleaner that claim to be irritant free or non odorous but alas I still find one small whiff and the back of my throat and lungs feel like they are peeling away.

Now if I was really smart (and I’m obviously not), I would wipe out the oven every time I baked or roasted or whatever it is that happens in an oven. When I had my new oven in my brand new house 10 years ago, I was virtuous for about the first week and then sadly I fell back into my bad habits of oven cleaning avoidance. One of the problems of cleaning an oven is finding a time when it’s not in use. I mean who wants their prime roast leg of lamb or sponge cake infused with oven cleaning smells. And if you use those nasty cleaners that come in spray cans, the fumes hang around for days. Just another excuse I know but it is a real quandary for girls who use their ovens a lot.

I go through stages of loving baking and other stages of loathing it. I love cooking for special occasions but everyday fare and routine cooking can be rather boring. Just something that has to be done to keep the family from starving. So what to do? Perhaps I need a freezer so I can prepare meals and cakes in advance so that we could get by without needing the oven for a week. As a freezer is no where in sight I suppose the oven cleaning duties will keep for another year or two. :-)