This is how I feel today, stuck in one great big rut.
The same things that annoy me about myself are still annoying me. I procrastinate, I still hate housework, I still feel like I have no space. Of course I know all the things I should be doing, changing the way I think about things, being grateful for what I have, put on lively music, la, la, la.
In my fantasy world, the younger members of the family would offer to do the housework once in a while. Not have to be reminded to clean the bathroom like they agreed to, clean out the litter box when it's their turn without being reminded, unload the dishwasher in the morning when it's their turn, not in the late afternoon. Wash the dishes from the night before when it was their turn so I can cook dinner in a clean kitchen. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
I have other fantasies too. The younger members of the family know that my internal combustion system is in overdrive and I get very tired. I'd love for one of them to say, "Can I get you a cup of tea?", "Can I put the bread on for you?", "Can I peel you a grape?". I'm not asking for much really. I would like them to see me as a person who tries very hard not to get cranky when I'm feeling irritable and moody, stifling hot one minute and freezing cold the next. A person who needs time to be creative at least once a day and the space to do it in. Not just physical space but mental space too. Wouldn't be nice for someone to say, "How are feeling today?"
O.K. rant over. Hopefully cheerful and normal service will resume after I've decided what to have for dinner?